My Dad's Brave Battle Journalized!

December 24, 2003
Mom called Dad's skin is yellow. I asked her what that meant, she didn't know.

December 25, 2003
Dad's skin is still yellow. He was scheduled for CT scan for tomorrow.

December 26, 2003
Dad had his CT scan today.

December 29, 2003
Dad woke up completely yellow. He drove to the hospital. The CAT scan read mass on pancreas, liver and bile duct. His weight is 213 pounds.

December 31, 2003
I called mom and dad all day today and no answer. Where are they? Dad was suppose to get an ERCP but that was only in Wilmington. They should have answered. Mom never has her cell phone on.

January 1st 2004
They spent 2 hours trying to get the stent in and the Dr. wasn't able to do it. Two HOURS!
Mom is a wreck. What is going on. Everything on the internet when you type pancreatic mass shows cancer. It can't be.

January 2nd 2004
Mom called. She wants me to fly down and drive them to Duke University. I have to get a picture license, I have to get a plane ticket. I don't even know what I'm doing.

January 4th 2004
I flew to Shallotte and Jimmy and Mom met me at Myrtle Beach Airport. It is 70 degrees and I am dressed for winter. I was positive Dad would be at the airport. When he wasn't I knew this is very bad. Shell made it. It took her almost 12 hours driving.

January 5th 2004
Shell was on the phone all day trying to get someone to help us.

January 6th 2004
Shell, Dad, Mom and I drove to Duke University in Durham. Shell and I found our room and then found where Dad is suppose go in the morning.

January 7th 2004
Shell was afraid Dad wouldn't be able to make the long walk but he did. He was tired but he did it ERCP was performed on Dad by Dr. Paul Jowell. A stent in the bile duct and a stent in the pancreas. Shell said the nurse gave her a look of death. I didn't see it.

January 8, 2004
We were going to leave at 7:00am, but true to form Mom and Dad were up and ready to go so we left at 6:00am

January 9, 2004
Shell and I worked on her beach house all day. We painted and stenciled and just went nuts with busy work. We are worried. We went to visit mom and dad in the afternoon.

January 10, 2004
Worked on beach house, worry, visit mom and dad

January 11, 2004
Worked on beach house, worry, visit mom and dad

January 12, 2004
Scrapping of pancreas tumor came back negative.
WE ARE SO HAPPY!

January 13, 2004
Moms checkup came back good for the next 6 months. Dad is relieved. He didn't know how he was going to get her to her radiation treatments if the breast cancer returns.

January 14, 2004
I got plane ticket home early. I changed tickets.

January 15, 2004
I flew home. It was so cold here. Now we have to wait awhile and let Dad recover from his ECRP

January 24, 2004
Aunt Jackie and Uncle Robert drove to Mom and Dad's.

January 25 2004
Mom and Dad, Uncle Robert and Aunt Jackie drove to Duke University. I think they are going to give Dad a biopsy. I don't know why, they said there was no cancer on the scrapping.

January 26, 2004
Dad had the needle biopsy at Duke. I don't like this. If there is cancer in the tumor, then I think a needle biopsy will spread it. I do think that.

January 27, 2004
All drove home. There was an ice storm and a state of emergency.

January 28, 2004
Aunt Sis and Uncle Robert drove back home.

January 29, 2004
The Doctor called. Dad has pancreatic cancer. A tumor on the pancreas metastized to the liver. There is nothing they can do. Dad is from the old school about cancer, I don't think he will fight.

January 30, 2004
Dad started taking percocet.

February 5, 2004
Mom and Dad go to oncologist. She tells them 6 months. Go home and get things in order. Dad says nothing and mom cries. Dad drove them home.

February 6, 2004
Dad took 2 morphine today

February 7, 2004
2 morphine

February 8, 2004
2 morphine

February 9, 2004
2 morphine

February 10, 2004
Dad ate 4 apricot seeds and became very sick. He took 2 more morphine

February 11, 2004
Dad is weak. He took 3 L's , some seeds and 2 morphine. He started hiccuping real bad.

February 12, 2004
Dad is very weak. He took 3 more L's, 2 morphine and still has very bad hiccups.

February 13, 2004
Shell drove up and Amy and I flew down. Dad is very weak and still has hiccups. He took 6 L's and some seeds. He didn't take any morphine today. His blood pressure is very low. no pill.

February 14, 2004
Happy 68th Birthday Daddy!! Mom got him a new BB gun. His old one was given to him when he was 5 by his Dad. We had cake and he said this was the best birthday ever. He looks so weak.
He took 6 L's and had no morphine.

February 15, 2004
6 L's and some seeds. He still has hiccups, but looks a little better today. Amy and I had to fly back home. He took 1 morphine.

February 16, 2004
6 seeds, 6 L's. He still has the hiccups and took no morphine.

February 17, 2004
Very sick, worst yet with nausea. No seeds 2 L's and sleeping pill. At bed he took 2 morphine.

February 18, 2004
Good day, sugar is 120 before breakfast. B/P good, but took pill. Very tired and still has hiccups. Took 2 morphine, 6 L's and some seeds.

February 19, 2004
Good Day so far. Sugar was 60 before breakfast. B/P good, sat outside 45 minutes. Carl came and cut his hair. Dad ate alot today (spagetti with sauce) and an apple. 6 L's, 4 seeds. He is very, very tired. He took 2 morphine at night.

February 20, 2004
Good morning. Sugar was 106, B/P good, hiccups turning into spasms. He ate scrambled eggs, shrimp for lunch and vegetable soup for dinner. 6 L's and 2 seeds. Seemed a little better. Still feels bad, 1 pain pill.

February 21, 2004
Very bad night. Feels and looks terrible. Worst yet. 4:00pm feels better, drank a lot of pineapple juice, boiled egg, asparagus, potato, toast, ham. No pain pill. 6 L's.

February 22, 2004
Good night, still has spasms. B/P good, sugar good. Ate an omelet, toast, ham, tomatoes. No pain pill, and finally went to the bathroom. Ate nothing else all day.

February 23, 2004
Very bad day, not much food, no liquids., 2 morphine and bed. Mom and Dad fought because she said he is giving up.

February 24, 2004
Got up and dressed. Made bed, ate some boiled egg and peaches. Walked to Jimmy's and watched trees being cut. He does have some chest pain and took 2 morphine pills. He ate some of Jimmy's vegetable potato soup.

February 25, 2004
Dad answered the phone and I talked to him 45 minutes. He had a good night. He walked to Beauty Berries. He ate breakfast, took his morning pills. No morphine yet. Dad took 2 morphine late afternoon.

February 26, 2004
Dad had a good night. Ate some pancake and ham. Mom said he looks good. He still feels terrible but hopefully something is working. His spasms are almost gone. This afternoon he is in pain but doesn't want to take pill. He hasn't gone to the BR since Sunday.

February 27, 2004
Not a good day. He has drank alot of water and tea but can't go to the bathroom. He had to take 2 morphine. No L's as of 4:00pm no seeds.

February 28, 2004
Terrible day. No bathroom. No L's, no morphine. A little chicken soup and apple sauce.

February 29, 2004
Terrible. Mom called me to call Dad. Given up? Can't go to the bathroom, no food but drinking tea. 2 morphine.

March 1, 2004
Good day. Ate tuna, tomato, applesauce. Some beans. Took 4 L's and did eat some seeds. Weather was good. He planted his tomatoes outside. No morphine and went to BR. He did take 2 morphine at night.

March 2, 2004
Good day had rice krispies and applesauce for breakfast. 2 morphine at night. Stomach pain.

March 3, 2004
Talked to Dad 2:15pm. He ate some krispies and some peaches. Took 2 morphine and didn't have a good night. Stomach pain

March 4, 2004
Ate a little oatmeal and applesauce. Some string beans and a little veal. Took 1 Lorcet. Very depressed, losing weight rapidly. Throat is sore. Voice weak and scratchy.

March 5, 2004
Ate one piece of bacon and 1/2 egg, pudding, water and sweet tea. Started cod liver oil. Sat on the patio for a little while. Took 2 pain pills Lorecet. Joe and I both talked to him. He was good.

March 6, 2004
Not that good. He took 2 Lorecet and 1 morphine. Ate a little oatmeal, 1/2 applesauce and cup of tea. Had a good night and slept. Felt good in the morning. Pain came late in morning. No B/R

March 7, 2004
Mom and Dad fought over his eating. Dad looks thin, won't go outside. Ate cheerios, some chicken and drank a lot of water and tea and cola. Took 1 Lorecet.

March 8, 2004
Mom called. Dad ate a little better. He had to take 2 pain pills and still no bathroom

March 9, 2004
Did need 3 pain pills today. 1 Lorecet and 2 morphine. Bad day, very painful. Did go to the bathroom and slept from 6:30 pm until 5am. No sleeping pill

March 10, 2004
Dad ate a little, but was mean to mom. I know she is getting on his nerves with her hovering. Dad's weight is now 171. He ate some chicken, macaroni and cheese and grapes. Pretty good day.

March 11, 2004
Had to take 2 lorecet, went to the bathroom and sat outside for 2 hours. Walked to Jimmy's. Slept ok without sleeping pill. Woke up in middle of night terrible pain. 2 lorecet and 1 morphine.

March 12, 2004
Ate cheerios and blueberries. Tired from last night. Food tastes terrible. Took 2 lorecet and 1 morphine, but had a good night and ate cheerios for dinner. Went outside with mom for 1 hr.

March 13, 2004
Took 1 codeine but then pain came fast and had to take lorecet. Ate Jimmy's potato soup. Mom called Shell. Dad is acting mean.

March 14, 2004
Mom is upset. Dad is giving up today. Won't eat or take medicine. Was in bed 13 1/2 hours. She got him to walk to the couch. She is crying. No food, no water

March 15, 2004
No food, no water. Mom called hospice.

March 16, 2004
Dad took a shower, shaved and walked to the car. Jimmy drove them to hospital, x-ray taken and given morphine. Hopefully no blockage.

March 17, 2004
Can't eat or drink. Very much in pain. Shell arrived at night.

March 18, 2004
Shell visited Dad at hospital. She said he looks terrible and has taken a turn for the worse. He was asked if he wants ginger ale. He asked for Jack Daniels in it. He is in agony. Morphine pump in stomach.

March 19, 2004
Hospital can't give him enough morphine to stop the pain. Hospice came. Mom said No and Dad said yes. The ride to the hospice hospital was 1 hour but they already gave him enough morphine to stop the agony. Lindsey is flying in tomorrow.

March 20, 2004
Dad stayed busy in bed fishing. He said he might last longer in this hospital. No pain. Morphine way up. Testing sugar. Dad saw figurines on ceiling. Dad started speaking to someone in Hungarian. He lost his ability to speak Hungarian when his grandparents died when he was 5 years old. Dad was speaking fluent Hungarian to someone in his room.

March 21, 2004
I stayed in Dad's room 5 hours today. Talking to him, although he was sleeping the whole time. I know he heard some of the things I said. Slight smile.

March 22, 2004
Stayed at hospice hospital all day. Dad slept. He jumped and I jumped. I laughed and I know he was laughing inside. We all went home the hour drive when the Doctor said he was strong and would be here for days. We got back home and got a call at 10pm Dad was slipping away. We drove the hour back and Lindsey, Shell and I raced to get to Dad's room. I held his right hand. Mom sat on his left. Aunt Lib, Uncle Bob , Shell, Lindsey all were surrounding his bed.
Dad died peacefully on March 22, 2004 and took his last breathe at 11:39pm. I am glad I was there so I could see for myself that he died peacefully. God rest your soul Daddy. I miss you.